Ephesians 5 Man

From the time we were little girls, most of us have dreamt of our wedding day. It all starts when we play with our Barbie and Ken dolls and continues on when we have our first crush. In a world where romance and weddings are amplified by Pinterest dream wedding boards and fairytale romance shows like The Bachelorette where men fight for a woman’s heart and woo her with extravagant vacations, gifts, and in the end a huge engagement ring. {Provided for free by a jeweler in exchange for some national advertising,} We girls sort of have a ‘fill-in-the-groom’ mentality of our wedding day. We think about how we will do our hair and what type of dress we will wear, we wonder what colors will be the ‘wedding colors’ and almost every detail in between. Ask most girls what they want in a husband and they will say “Tall, dark and handsome” or maybe “Blonde hair, blue eyes and washboard abs.” My question to you is how often when you ask a woman what she wants in a man does she start with aspects that are not purely physical?

I think you know you have ‘the one’ when you no longer dream of where your wedding will be and what your bridesmaids will wear but instead dream of marrying your best friend. No longer will inviting 500 of your closest friends to impress be most important, what will matter the most is starting the rest of your life with your soul mate. Many people wonder how they know who ‘the one’ is. While this differs from person to person I know that God has given us our own checklists for who wives and husbands are supposed to be and the ways in which each partner is to behave. In How to be a Godly Wife I discussed different ways in which God has outlined women of the Kingdom to be but if you read Ephesians 5, you will have your very own checklist of who a Godly husband is supposed to be and what his characteristics are.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.

Right off the bat the message is clear; husbands are to love their wives like Christ loved the church. Jesus loved the church more than he loved himself and he did everything in his power to protect her, love her, and honor her. In a partner, this is something that we should seek. We should hold men to high standards because part of the reason that men {in general} are not stepping into to the calling that God has for them as husbands is because we let them slack. {but don’t be offended when your man holds you accountable to be a Proverbs 31 woman} Husbands and wives are each other’s accountability partners and early on in a dating relationship is when these roles are established. Love is more than a mushy-gushy feeling, it is a commitment that lasts long after the butterflies fade away. Love is all encompassing because it is protecting your mate, honoring them, being faithful to them in every sense of the word, seeing the best in them and loving them like Jesus loves us—unconditionally.

26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word

In Christ we have a new life and are new creations. I have mentioned before how important I think our words are and how important the Creator says our words are. The words written in the Bible are truth, are life, are everything to me. To be sanctified and cleansed with the word is to have the word spoken over you. What does God imply in Ephesians 5:26? I think what is being implied is that we choose husbands who are Godly men, men who take the time to read The Word and speak The Word over their wives in all situations. Once you are married, you will spend the majority of your time, thus your life, with your significant other. If a situation arises that does not line up with the Word of God, your man as the spiritual head (1 Corinthians 11:3)needs to know the Word and speak it over each situation. The words written in the Bible are our tools and because words carry power, God wants us to use the words written in our life manual so that our words line up with His.

27 that He might present her to himself as glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish

Perfect is something that none of us are…right? Well, I would agree that no one who has ever walked the Earth except for Jesus Christ himself is perfect but what if your husband loved everything about you? This can be a tall order but God calls husbands to see us as holy and not having a spot or wrinkle. God calls husbands to not necessarily think their wife is perfect but to look at us and love all that they see. Husbands are called to encourage their wives and not focus on what they think are flaws but to instead embrace who their wife is and love every part of her. The truth is, the less you focus on what you don’t like, the more you can focus on what you love about a person. The more someone, especially your husband, showers you with love the more you want to be a better Christian, a better wife, a better woman. {Check out Salvation Is if you don’t believe me. The Robe of Righteousness and Unmerited Favor God gives us is a huge example of what loving someone with no boundaries can do.} No one is perfect but when two people, a husband and a wife see the best in each other there is a sense of balance, a sense they together they are perfectly imperfect.

28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church

When two people become one and marry they are spiritually the same being, half of a whole. The importance of putting your partner’s needs above yourself is unlimited. I am not saying that husbands are to put themselves last but when both partners focus on the other’s needs above their own and demonstrate selfless love there is a sense of happiness and fulfillment greater than if each partner focused on solely themselves.

God has called husbands to rise up to these standards and wives are supposed to help keep them accountable to these standards. Just because God called husbands to these callings doesn’t mean that women are to just go and do whatever they want, like most other things this is a two-way street. What does your husband do that meets the Ephesians 5 version of God’s role for a husband? What does your boyfriend do that meets this list? Interested in the role God has for wives? Check out How to Be A Godly Wife: it starts with you. Have your eternal insurance?

Fulfilling His Purpose | Philippians 2:13 | His Yes Girl, Kait 

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