Relationships can be a sticky topic for many people, especially when we refer to which relationship should be put first, second and third (and so on). Respect and honor should be applied to every single one of our relationships, but there is also a line as to what relationship should be respected and honored above the others.
First and foremost, above all others, should be our relationship with God.
Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Being newly married (as of just over a week ago) I have sometimes overlooked my relationship with God and forgot to put Him first. It is easy to get caught up in the day to day distractions of being a newly married couple. I have to remember that we cannot depend upon our own plans and our own goals to get us to where we need to be. We must turn to the Lord and ask Him what we are supposed to do and how we are supposed to do it, we must offer ourselves to him because when we said our vows we did not promise ourselves only to one another, but also to God!
Psalms 37:5-6 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn your vindication like the noonday sun.
Above ALL else I should put God; my relationship with God should come before my relationship with my husband, with my family, and with my friends. Just like Kait wrote in “If He’s Not First, He’s Last”, if I don’t keep my relationship with him first then everything else in life will start to feel ‘flawed’ and can seemingly begin to ‘fall apart’. Making my relationship with God first will make all of my other relationships more harmonious and in accordance.
Secondly, my relationship with my husband should be put before my relationship with my family and friends. This can be a difficult thing to do, especially growing up in such a tight family and having such close (family like) friends. By no means does this mean that I stop talking to and hanging out with my family and friends; but I have to put the wants, needs, and expectations of my husband above those of others.
By marrying him I did not just gain a husband and a life mate, but he and I became one with each other. Yes, of course, we are still individuals, but we are partners, companions and family now, and I vowed to love and honor him for the rest of our lives. See Kaits post on “Being a Godly Wife: it starts with you”.
Matthew 19:4-6 Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.
Third comes the relationship with my family (this would include children if I had any) and friends. Like I said before this doesn’t mean I avoid them or stop talking to them. But simply, I cannot put them before God or my husband. I can still have wonderful and fulfilling relationships and friendships without putting their wants and needs before God and my husband.
Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Fellowship or the getting together of friends and loved ones is a great thing. I receive a ton of encouragement, inspiration, and motivation from my family and friends. I can also learn a lot about my other two relationships from hearing about the experiences of my family and friends, and they from mine. However, with social media today I know we all run the risk of “over-sharing”, it has become so easy to simply divulge every detail of our personal lives to any and everyone who will listen (or read about it). Sharing triumphs in my personal relationship with God is wonderful to share, but sharing personal things about my husband and myself should not be a topic that is brought up very often, (except within reason).
Psalms 37:3-10 Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land. A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found.
Ephesians 5:22-23 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church– for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.